My Cheating Girlfriend: An Update
I have given this guy enough time to come out. Yaani hataki kutoka. Should we smoke him out?. I want to use some pepper spray ama any other suggestions? I want something that may trigger his asthma or whatever. Apparently he switched off his phone, I’ve tried calling him but haiingii. Ama ameniblock?. Nigga must be comfortable down there. Seems he got his lunch packed already. It’s time to find out. I am calling for backup so that I know if we need a body bag or something else. The lady prepared breko but i guess she’s concerned leo sitoki hii room. This ends in the next few minutes. We’re smoking him out!!! I can share his number too here tumpigie sote.
I am updating in a few.
PART 5
Relationship Post!
Si I decide to call my backup mwenye tulikuwa naye the yesterday night. He takes around 5 minutes to arrive. It is the first time I am opening the door today. The lady has already started smelling a rat and she knows her goose is bouta get cooked. She is really curious. We hurriedly get inside the bedroom and she follows us quickly. Right now she knows that I know. “Aki, beb naskia kizunguzungu”.
She starts getting dramatic and drops on the floor. I turn and look at her on the floor; she wants to convince us that she has fainted. She wants to distract us but we ain’t buying into her story. Not today sis!
We must first smoke out this male version. Just like some of you suggested, we took a mopstick and started poking under the bed. “Aaii! Aaii!” Please I can explain” So he’s still alive.
We keep poking, now harder. “Manze, mtaniumiza joh, tulia natoka” then he starts coughing. The guy I was with (backup) could not keep calm, grabbed one of his leg and pulled him half-out. His head still under the bed.
On the other side, this lady’s eyes were now open. She was witnessing the rapture first-hand. “Aki beb I can explain…please”, now she’s crying profusely.
I notice she’s crying in a low tone, careful not to attract attention. It is her moment of embarrassment. Ladies can get dramatic, yaani we have not even completed the face-reveal of his boyfriend and she’s throwing tantrums. “Shit, baby, aki ni shetani. Beeb am sorry..” Mai lawd, how do you drag the devil in this mess.
She stands and starts pacing across the floor, she’s shaking. She kneels, stands again. She falls, then rolls on the floor. It is her moment to shine, let her shine.
Back to our guy. Now, this man don’t wanna come out. It is like he’s clutching on to something. We pull, he’s coming along with the bed. We pull again. We ain’t here for games brother.
I step on his knee so hard, but in a way that pleases God. “Aii, manze insert my name pole mahn, acha niwaambie kila kitu..” Already I recognize his voice. We give one last pull. Behold, Ladies and Gentlemen, this man, in shorts, and a shirt, the man who enjoyed free accommodation and even overslept has given in to pressure. He’s now exposed. Her girlfriend also looks surprised, was she expecting to see someone else.? He’s out, but does not want to lift his face, he’s engulfed in shame. My guess was right, he’s my close friend. I feel betrayed and disappointed, I thought I had overcame these feelings.
I peep under the bed and what I saw caught my eye. This man did not sleep on the floor like we all thought. He slept on that lady’s pink towel which was well spread down there (photo attached). Though small, but it was enough to give him some kind of protection from the cold floor. Buana, if I were to wait for this guy to sneeze or cough as a result of the cold floor, I would still be waiting until now. In his hand, he’s holding his inhaler. 🥱 Yaani, this guy was just comfortable down here like this, I even now start to think, he slept, unlike me who stayed up all night. Hii lazima alipe. I just had to slap him so hard for that mistake, how dare he sleep, on a warm and heavy towel. Nkt!
Now the confessions start. They have been doing this for like two months now, and yesternight they were planning to try it while she’s on her menses. Lawd!. What kind of fetish! After a short interrogation, it is evident, I have lost, they have won. I can’t continue but free them. I ask him where are his pants and he points to the wardrobe. “Haya, as you take your pants from that wardrobe, help her pack her clothes which are in the same closet.” “You have won yourself a brand new second-hand wife” I added. That statement alone made that gal cry so bitterly. Kwani she thought I was here for conflict resolution, I am not Koffi Annan. Jokes on her if she thought, I would diss the guy and hug her tight. I dissed them both, and sent them packing. I can’t hear more of those apologies. Hizo pole zimetosha.
Alot is going on right now that I can’t type. In a few minutes they’ll be gone. But first, they should shower together and go out clean. I hope they live happily and have big-headed children. Until now, the sound of that slap, echoes in this room, and I wish it echoes in that empty head of his forever. Bye
THE END